


Yuzuru Gets A Man

by 3ALover



Series: Sex-Positive Yuzuru [2]
Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Sexual Content, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Getting Together, Humor, Light Angst, Light Bondage, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Sequel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-15
Updated: 2018-12-02
Packaged: 2019-08-23 22:15:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 20,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16627418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/3ALover/pseuds/3ALover
Summary: Hooking up with the man he loved was a bad idea, but at least Yuzuru has friends who will stop at nothing to help him get his happy ending.(Sequel toYuzuru Gets Around)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I did it, I made a sequel! 
> 
> Also, there's a little surprise thrown in for a few of you rare-pair fans, lol

Yuzuru’s problem, he discovered, was that having repeated ‘just this one time’ hook-ups with the man you’re in love with was really hard on his emotions. 

After that ‘just this once’ sex the first night Javier was there, even though Yuzuru was supposed to be focusing on the final in a week, they kept having sex. Not even a full 24 hours after they had sex, Yuzuru looked over at Javier in the locker room after everybody else had gone already, and when Javier nodded a head to the showers and went that way, Yuzuru went right after him. He never thought he would have sex at the rink, but Javier fingering him and then fucking his mouth again was too much of an offer to pass up. Every single day leading up to leaving for the final, they had sex. Yuzuru had never been so exhausted between training and the wild, crazy sex. There wasn’t a surface in Javier’s hotel room they hadn’t fucked on. Javier even sucked him off while he sat on the edge of the bathroom sink. 

Yuzuru was amazed he managed to medal at all at the final, he was so wrung out. 

After the final, when he got back, the first thing he did after dropping off his stuff at home was ‘go visit Javi to hang out’, AKA get some good, rough congratulatory sex. 

The worst part of all of it wasn’t even that, though. It was that besides having sex, Javi was being his normal, sweet, funny, wonderful self, and it was doing a real number on Yuzuru’s heart. Javier was always charming and affectionate, but Javier’s usual touchy nature was harder to handle while they were naked in his bed after having sex. Laying there naked and sated and having Javier casually holding him around the waist, hands stroking his bare skin while he told some anecdote about something that happened back home in Spain felt too much like being a couple. Javier had always wanted to touch Yuzuru all the time, but he was like that with most people. Javier liked hugs and holding each other and resting a hand on your thigh or even holding hands. But now, naked after sex, it felt like a relationship not a series of hook-ups with his friend. 

One day as everybody was packing up their things in the locker room, Yuzuru sat beside Jason to take his skates off and spoke Japanese, so nobody would understand them. “Hey, Jason?”

“Yeah, Yuzu-kun?” he asked sweetly and patiently.

Yuzuru really liked Jason. “Um, we’re friends, right?”

Jason smiled. “I would like to think so, why?”

“Can we talk?” Yuzuru asked nervously. “I just- I need to talk to somebody about something and I feel like you would understand. Also you kind of know about it sort of. A little.”

Jason smirked suddenly. “Is this about you spending the night at my place two weeks ago? I take it your ‘date’ has been repeating itself?” Yuzuru blushed and Jason snickered. “I thought so. You have looked pretty ‘tired’ lately.”

The door opened and Yuzuru looked up to see Jun Hwan coming in and he winced. He spoke Japanese. “Maybe at your house?” he murmured to Jason, who smiled and nodded.

“Sure. We can have a grown-up slumber party!” he suggested excitedly and Yuzuru laughed.

“Okay. I’ll be sure to bring Pooh-san,” he joked, and Jason laughed, leaning into his side affectionately as he did so. Yuzuru just giggled, slinging his arm around Jason’s shoulders to give him a little half-hug and repay his sweet, friendly nature. 

~

After Yuzuru and Jason left the locker room, shoving each other playfully and giggling like children, Jun Hwan looked at Javier in confusion. “What’s an ‘adult slumber party’?” he asked, and Javier’s jaw dropped in shock. 

Brian, who happened to be grabbing something from his own locker, just groaned, letting his forehead thump against the locker. “Jesus Christ.”

~

Yuzuru struck a pose when Jason opened the door to his apartment and Jason cackled at Yuzuru’s outfit. Yuzuru decided to be silly and play it up by wearing Winnie the Pooh pajamas and a tee-shirt with teddy bears on it. “Okay, that beats even my rubber ducky PJs,” Jason said, inviting him inside. 

Yuzuru put his bag and shoes by the door, grinning. “I couldn’t help it.” He opened his backpack and whipped out Pooh-san, and Jason cooed, petting him.

“You really brought him! I love it!” He grabbed Yuzuru’s elbow. “Come on, I’ve got so many snacks, I’m going to fatten you up so I can beat you at Four Continents,” he teased and Yuzuru rolled his eyes affectionately as they went to the living room and set up on the couch. Thankfully, Jason knew he liked fruits and vegetables more than junk food, so there were plenty of healthy snacks for Yuzuru. 

They sat watching a random bad TV movie while eating snacks for a while, neither of them paying much attention to it, before finally Yuzuru sighed and picked up Pooh-san, rubbing his head as he turned to face Jason, his legs folded under him. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course,” Jason said, facing him fully and smiling patiently. “Is it about your mystery man?”

Yuzuru nodded, biting his lip. “How did you know it was a man anyways?”

Jason rolled his eyes. “Oh please, don’t act like you can’t spot one of us from a mile away. I always tell my sister, I think queer people just sense each other. Like, we know what’s up without really knowing.”

“Huh, maybe,” Yuzuru murmured. He had never thought of that before. “Anyways, yes, it’s a man.” He fidgeted with Pooh-san. “I- uh- I’m not ashamed of what I do with my private life, but I don’t think I need to talk about it in detail. Just know that I’m not as innocent as I fool people into thinking I am.” He shrugged. “I just like sex. I don’t think that’s bad, but I’m a private person. I don’t need to talk to people about my sexual history.”

Jason nodded. “That’s kind of how I am. I sort of feel pressured lately to come out and like make a big scene about it, but I don’t want to?” He made a face. “I’m not scared or ashamed or anything, I mean Team USA has a few out queer people with little problem, I just don’t want people to focus on just that. I want to be recognized for being a good skater, not a gay skater.”

“You are a good skater,” Yuzuru reassured him and Jason rolled his eyes.

“Oh, shut up, I know I’m middle of the pack.” He shrugged. “But anyways, the point is, our relationships and preferences in those are our business, not the public. Ask about my program, not who I want to celebrate a win with.”

Yuzuru nodded. “Well, to make a long story short, I’ve been in love with one man most of my adult life, but I never wanted to try for something because I thought he was straight, and we couldn’t be together, I know that, so I didn’t ever try to seduce him the way I can seduce most any guy I want. I’m good at reading how to get them interested and can play whatever they want. I like sex, I don’t want to date. He’s the only man I’ve ever wanted emotionally,” he said, trailing off. “But then we accidentally got to talking on a hook-up app and when I got there and realized it was him, we knew it was a bad idea, but we both were on that app because we were horny and wanted sex so… we had sex,” he finished. He hung his head. “But now it’s more than just once. It’s like we say ‘one more time’ and it happens over and over and I don’t know what to do,” he finished in a rush. “I’m having casual sex with the love of my life.”

Jason cooed, patting his knee. “Oh, Yuzu,” he said in sympathy. “Okay to start with, for full disclosure, I’m not blind,” he said and Yuzuru blushed. “You can just say his name. I know you’re definitely fucking Javi right now.”

Yuzuru groaned, falling into the back of the couch. “Why did I have to find a hot torso on a dating app and it be him?! I just saw hot abs and a need for privacy and thought, ‘score!’ because I’ve never actually used that app before. I wanted to but I was too worried about my privacy, but the body in that photo was one of an athlete and he said he also needed privacy because he’s bisexual and even gay people don’t like that a lot of the time.”

Jason smiled sadly. “Yeah, that’s true.” He bit his lip and blushed slightly. “I- um. I have a secret boyfriend. He’s bi. Nobody knows so we’re keeping it quiet.”

Yuzuru’s face lit up in a smile. “Awww, Jason! I’m happy for you!” He leaned over and hugged Jason, who squeezed him back. “How long have you been together?” he asked excitedly.

Jason chuckled. “Over a year actually. Almost two. It’s long-distance but it’s still great knowing someone half a world away is thinking about me and loves me.”

“It’s hilarious to imagine what he would think about your short program,” Yuzuru said without thinking, then blushed. Jason laughed and raised an eyebrow.

“Oh?”

Yuzuru groaned, putting a hand over his eyes. “Oh my God, okay, know ahead of time that I’m not interested in you at all that way, but let’s just say that there’s a reason I used the hook-up app after Brian started us training together.”

“Shut up!” Jason gasped, blushed. “Yuzuru!”

“What!? You’re so hot!” he groaned. “I don’t have to want to sleep with you to get hot and bothered by a hot guy with an amazing body skating a sexy program right in front of me all the time!” he defended. “That haircut was the best thing you ever did and the worst ever for any gay man you have to skate against.” He hid his face in his knees. “I don’t want that to make you feel creeped out or anything, but I like sturdy, manly guys, and your hair and the way you have stubble more often lately, it’s just really hot. You’re a bigger guy than me and even if you aren’t tall, I like a muscled, sturdy man. Most of the guys I’ve slept with are pairs skaters and ice dancers,” he said, and Jason positively cackled.

“It’s just so funny because I tend to like more ‘masculine’ looking guys, too, and my boyfriend’s got broad shoulders and a jaw to die for and cheekbones that cut glass, so you thinking I’m hot is so weird to me,” he teased. 

Yuzuru gestured to himself. “I am the definition of ‘feminine gay guy’,” he said pointedly. “I learned a long time ago why men are obsessed with my waist even if they’re straight. I’m shaped like a hot girl. I think this is why I’ve fucked straight guys who really were straight before,” he added. “I told Brian when he found out, I have a tiny waist, round hips, not a lot of body hair, a pretty face, and a high voice. If he does me from behind he can probably just imagine I’m a girl,” he said and Jason snorted, falling over laughing. 

“You’re so casual about sex it’s hilarious. I’m used to my friends blushing and using innuendos. Hell, even my boyfriend blushes like crazy if I try to talk dirty to him,” he said fondly. “It took him a month to get up the nerve to talk about switching it up during sex because he wanted to top but didn’t want to say ‘I want to fuck you’,” he said, giggling.

Yuzuru grabbed another carrot and crunched on it while he talked. “I always bottom. I have no desire to top. Ever. I want to be the center of attention,” he said. “Also, nothing is better than riding a big dick,” he said with a wink. 

“I tend to be more of a top, but I like swapping it up,” Jason said, eating a Cheeto almost in mocking mirror of Yuzuru’s carrot. “So, I mean, I know this is very stressful because you’re in love with him and its really dramatic, but I have to know. How’s Javi?” he asked, wiggling his eyebrows. “Pretty sure everybody has had a crush on him at some point.”

Yuzuru groaned. “Maybe the best I ever had,” he said honestly. “I’m going to get graphic for a moment, so please forgive me,” he said, and Jason wiggled his eyebrows teasingly. “He _loves_ eating ass,” he said, and Jason spluttered, nearly choking on air.

“Oh my God.”

“I mean nobody ever did that to me before, and he just shoves me facedown and goes at it!” he said, and Jason fell over laughing. “That first night, he fucked me so good I forgot my own name for a minute! I told him I wanted it rough and he left bruises all over my hips and it was so hot. He may have ruined me for all other men.” He put a hand on his chest. “And he has never slept with a man before! He said he’s known he’s bi for years but just stuck with women because it was easier. How is he so good at sex with a man?!”

Jason giggled. “That’s just so funny.” He smiled sweetly. “My boyfriend was a virgin before we got together, and he’s actually really good,” he said honestly. “We don’t usually have wild, crazy sex like you’re talking about, usually it’s really emotional and intense because we go so long without being able to touch each other, but it’s still really good.”

Yuzuru groaned. “That’s what I’m scared of. I’m scared that Javi is going to realize I’m in love with him and it’ll mess things up more than it already is. I really shouldn’t have had sex with him,” he said, looking down at Pooh-san. “I already missed him all the time because even in love with him, he has been my friend for so long. And now I know what it’s like to sleep with him. And he treats me like he always has after sex. He’s so sweet and affectionate. Talking and laughing together after sex and him holding me is normal for him but it isn’t good for me as someone in love with him.”

Jason pouted. “Poor Yuzu.”

“I just don’t know what to do,” Yuzuru admitted. “He’s going to leave in a few weeks and who knows when I’ll see him again? And God, how am I ever going to be sexually satisfied again after the love of my life fucking me so well I can’t remember my name? Seriously, that was so stupid!”

“Well, I would offer my services on a platonic basis, but my relationship is monogamous,” Jason joked and Yuzuru smiled in spite of his sadness. “I could drive you to a sex shop on the other side of the city where nobody will know you so you can buy a really good vibrator?” he offered, and Yuzuru cracked up. “What?! They aren’t just for women! My boyfriend has one and he let me use it on him and holy shit, so hot. He got like basically incoherent. It was amazing. He’s really expressive in bed, which is funny because he’s kind of a stoic guy usually, but yeah, it’s hot.”

Yuzuru groaned and fell over against the pillow beside him. “Javi is stupid. Men are stupid. Why do they have to be hot? Why do I like sex so much? Life would be so much easier if I was just uninterested.” 

Jason rolled his eyes. “Nothing is wrong with liking sex. I mean nothing is wrong with being uninterested either, but we’re twenty-three-year-old athletes, it’s normal for us to have healthy sex drives. I’ve always heard being in good shape makes you have a higher sex drive. And I mean, unless you’re going around screwing a new guy every weekend without protection, so what?”

Yuzuru blushed. “I’ve never did it without condoms before Javi, but we know we’re both healthy so we didn’t bother and it’s so dirty but I love it. That’s going to suck, too. I can’t ever do that with anybody else.”

Jason gaped. “You dirty boy!” he said, then cackled. “We don’t always use them, because like you, we both had medial checks before we did it without them, but most of the time the ‘gross’ factor is why we use them. He really hates feeling it, you know, inside,” he said, making a face at how graphic that was, and Yuzuru snickered, scrunching up his nose. 

“I guess I’m just kinky,” he said, rolling his eyes. 

Jason patted his knee. “Are you _sure_ Javi doesn’t have any feelings for you?”

Yuzuru sighed, shaking his head. “No, but what are the chances the man I have loved for years just hasn’t noticed all this time if he felt the same for me?”

Jason shrugged. “You never know.” He smirked suddenly. “So, I know you don’t really drink, but I have wine. I think we should split the bottle and watch videos compilations of us falling while skating on YouTube.”

Yuzuru hesitated. “I’m allergic to medical alcohol, you think I’m safe to drink consumable alcohol?”

Jason hummed. “Death allergic or like itchy allergic?”

“Itchy,” Yuzuru said, and Jason nodded.

“Probably safe then,” he said, then hopped up. “Tell you what, let’s give it a shot. If you start to die, I’ll call an ambulance,” he joked, and Yuzuru laughed.

“If I die, tell my mother I spilled a bottle of it on me from the bathroom cabinet,” he said, and Jason laughed as he ran to the kitchen then came back with a bottle of red wine and two cups that both had familiar anime characters on them.

Yuzuru groaned. “Oh my God, seriously? You liked that crap, too?” he asked, and Jason faked a gasp.

“You are disowned and kicked out,” he said, handing Yuzuru a glass of wine with a poodle on the outside. “Nothing is more beautiful than their love, you are terrible.”

Yuzuru suddenly had a thought, naorriwing his eyes at him. “Is your skin-tight costume and sexy short program because the new haircut looks like that pervert one?”

Jason winked, raising his glass with a cartoon character on it. “Maybe.” He sipped the wine and Yuzuru rolled his eyes but did the same.

“Oh,” Yuzuru said, surprised at the taste. “I did not expect that,” he said, and Jason laughed. 

“You like it?” he asked, and Yuzuru hummed.

“Not sure,” he said, drinking more. “But I don’t feel my tongue itching, so maybe it’s okay.”

“And it’s a big bottle,” Jason said, holding up the large bottle of wine. Yuzuru just laughed and drank more. 

~

Yuzuru had never been so tipsy before, but he liked it. “Okay, and-“ He rolled over, laying on his back, looking at the TV upside down. “And which one is hotter to you? Stephane Lambiel or Johnny Weir?”

“Lambiel, easily,” Jason said, snorting. “Like, so much hotter. Also, Johnny’s a bitch,” he said, and Yuzuru gasped, looking at him in shock.

“Don’t say that! Oh my God, he’s my favorite skater!” he whined.

Jason pouted. “He’s mean. Have you ever heard what he says about my skating? He’s so mean to me. Every other commentator highlights my positives, he just drags me for not having any quads.”

“Quads aren’t everything,” Yuzuru grumbled. “I love jumps, but you’re one of the best skaters I know. Not many guys get level four on everything.”

Jason beamed, a little glassy-eyed from the wine. “You’re my favorite,” he admitted. “You’re very graceful and elegant and I love that.”

“What’s your favorite skate of mine?” Yuzuru asked, kicking his feet up in the air. 

Jason hummed. “Probably your free two years ago. It was very graceful and beautiful.” He grinned. “Or Romeo and Juliette the second time you did it. That was so fun.”

Yuzuru beamed. “I liked that one, too.” He pursed his lips, frowning. “I really like your short this year,” he said. “It’s really sexy, but it’s like elegantly sexy. You aren’t silly, it’s really smooth and flowy.”

Jason beamed “Thank you.” He lay on his stomach, looking at the TV. “Okay, so, who’s hotter, Scott Moir or Eric Radford?” he asked.

Yuzuru smirked. “The one I’ve had sex with,” he said, and Jason gasped, then burst out laughing.

“Oh my God, you’ve had sex with one of them?! Who? No wait, don’t tell me, I’ll be jealous!” He pressed his face into the bed, laughing. “So lucky.”

Yuzuru grinned. “Okay, new one! Who is hotter, Keiji or Shoma?”

Jason blushed suddenly and bit his lip. He looked down at the covers and wiggled some, making a face before looking at Yuzuru and giving him a shy smile. “The one I’m in love with,” he whispered, and Yuzuru shot upright, jaw dropping.

“WHAT?!” he squawked. “You- what- huh?!”

Jason giggled and covered his face. “Yeah.”

“I thought Keiji was straight?” Yuzuru said, confused.

“He is,” Jason said, and Yuzuru nearly fainted.

“Wait, wait, wait.” He held up his hand. “Shoma?!”

Jason rolled his eyes. “Yes, is that so hard to imagine? We just… clicked.” He shrugged. “He’s amazing.”

Yuzuru tried to picture Shoma and cringed. “But you said he’s hot and broad shouldered!”

“He is!” Jason defended. “Have you ever looked at him that way? Try it next time. Or better yet!” He grinned and wiggled over to pull up Shoma’s free skate from a few weeks back. “Look at his shoulders in this costume and his jaw and cheekbones when he hits his ending pose and tell me he’s not gorgeous.”

Yuzuru watched and tried to see it from a point of view other than his own. As he watched his lines, he had to admit, if he didn’t look at Shoma like a younger brother, maybe he could see it. He had a very nice face. His jaw and cheeks really had shaped up as he grew up. He looked at Jason, who was smiling serenely at the screen like he was so proud of Shoma and he could admit, there was definitely love in his eyes. “You’re happy,” he said, and Jason blushed but nodded.

“It’s nice. He’s very sweet. Most guys I’ve been with weren’t nice to me. They weren’t bad boyfriends, but they didn’t go out of their way to do things for me the way he does,” he said warmly. 

Yuzuru looked at the way Jason’s eyes stayed on the screen and he tried to imagine being loved that way. He didn’t know if it was the wine or what, but he felt a lump in his throat suddenly. He wanted that. He wanted to know what it was like to be loved. “I wish Javi loved me back,” he said softly and Jason looked at him with a sad smile.

“You never know if you don’t ask,” he said, and Yuzuru shrugged. Jason rolled over and slung an arm around Yuzuru’s shoulders, giving him a hug. Yuzuru smiled at how casually affectionate Jason was. Jason was a great guy. 

“What’s the point? He’s leaving in a few weeks.”

“So?” Jason asked. “I see Shoma maybe times a year and it’s lasted almost two years,” he whispered. “I miss him all the time, but we make it work. The lack of sex sucks, but it makes it even better when we’re in one place and can touch each other. And time zones suck, but he has insomnia anyways so it’s not impossible.” He shrugged. “We’re happy. He makes me happy. Who knows what you could have if Javi just so happens to love you back?”

Yuzuru thought about it for a moment then sighed. “God, it’s nice to have someone I can talk about boys with.”

Jason beamed. “I know, same!” He sat up, blindingly reaching for the floor. “This calls for more wine and then we should watch anime so I can make you learn to love it like every single other skater does!”

“Or we could call Shoma and I can laugh at him for ten years because he’s had a secret boyfriend all this time,” Yuzuru suggested, giggling as he rolled around, already imagining panicked Shoma.

“Shoma will kill me if I don’t tell him you know before you tease him,” he warned him. “Don’t fuck with my happy relationship.”

Yuzuru gasped comically. “Ooohhh, you said a dirty word!” he said, then smirked at Jason rolling his eyes. 

“Drink this and stop being a pain,” he said pouring Yuzuru a generous measure of wine. “I refuse to be the only one feeling rough in the morning. I want a partner to share Brian’s wrath,” he said, and Yuzuru groaned at the thought, but didn’t say no to more wine. He didn’t particularly love the taste, but he was not opposed to the floaty feeling he had and the way everything was funnier than usual. 

~

Yuzuru was pretty sure he wasn’t _hungover_ , but he didn’t feel great getting up after four hours of sleep and a whole bottle of wine and going to training. He showed up in some of Jason’s sweatpants and a random ratty tee-shirt, which said a lot. He always trained in his custom training gear bur he just wasn’t up to changing clothes. He would change into some of his own clothes to go home in. Jason didn’t look much better. His hair stuck up on one side and he had on sunglasses even though it was barely past dawn. “I think this is less the alcohol and more the bad decisions to stay up so late,” Jason whined as they walked into the rink. Jason was practically hanging off of Yuzuru, using his shoulder as a pillow.

“I’m so glad I don’t have any problems sleeping usually,” Yuzuru agreed. When Brian spotted them, he raised an eyebrow.

“And why, pray tell, are two of my most punctual skaters late?” He gestured to Javi who was already out on the ice. “If he beat you to the rink, it’s not good.”

Jason gave him a tired smile. “Sorry. We didn’t get much sleep.”

Yuzuru nodded. “And I have much sore everything,” he whined, regretting falling asleep sitting up against the headboard so he slept slumped over awkwardly.

Brian gaped. “Yuzuru!” he said, and then slapped a hand over his face. “And Jason, honestly, I thought you at least had better sense than him.”

Jason smiled his most innocent, apologetic smile. “We’re sorry, Brian. We didn’t mean to let our night get so out of hand. I mean, I sure didn’t expect all the bruises,” he joked, and Yuzuru snickered, remembering how Jason tripped, fell onto the bed, then bounced off the other side and landed _in_ his clothes basket. 

“It really funny, though,” Yuzuru said, laughing when Jason grabbed him around the waist and shook him. “I never know that wine really get your blood heated,” he said, thinking of their overly competitive dance battle that made him trip in the first place. “Jason’s boyfriend get so mad when we all and he hear us out of breath so late at night.”

Brian looked even more incredulous. “You’ve got a _boyfriend_ and you called him while you and Yuzuru were doing… that?”

Jason shrugged. “We needed somebody to decide whose performance was best and we can’t really watch ourselves while we’re doing it.”

Brian shook his head. “Okay, we’re training now. I don’t want to know all this shit about my skaters’ private lives.”

When they skated out to join Javi in warming up, Javi whistled. “What has Brian all upset at you two?” he asked, and Jason rolled his eyes.

“We stayed up late when Yuzuru stayed over last night, and we were late when we are never late. I’m kind of shocked he’s so mad though,” he added. “Probably telling him we got bruises and are all sore already. Or that we were drunk and that’s why we got so rough.”

Javier turned red. “Well, yeah, Brian already chewed me out for giving Yuzuru bruises!”

Jason flushed, rolling his eyes. “Not really the same situation.”

“Uh, I’m guessing it is?” Javier said, confused. He looked at Yuzuru. “I mean, Yuzuru told me he didn’t think of you that way, but-“

Yuzuru gasped, hands going to his mouth. He ran through all the things they said to Brian and looked at Jason in horror, his face burning. “Oh my God, that what it sound like!” Jason frowned and Yuzuru whimpered. “We tell him ‘oh we stay up and today Yuzuru is sore and Jason has bruises and your boyfriend judge us ‘performance’,” he said pointed and Jason gasped.

“Oh my GOD!” He turned around instantly. “BRIAN NOBODY HAD SEX LAST NIGHT THAT IS NOT WHAT THAT WHOLE THING WAS ABOUT WE HAD A DANCE BATTLE!” he shouted without any hesitation, going even brighter red. 

Brian barked out a laugh. “I wondered why your boyfriend was so cool with watching it,” he called back, and Jason whined, hiding his face in his gloved hands. Yuzuru couldn’t help giggle.

“Oh Jason.”

“I’m so embarrassed. It totally sounded like I was bragging about us having wild, crazy sex, Yuzuru!” He made a sound not unlike a dying cow. 

“No offense, you are really cute, but I do not want to think about sex with you,” Yuzuru said, giggling. “Also, I would never hurt your boyfriend by trying to get with you.”

“I want to die,” Jason dramatically groaned, skating ahead to get away from them.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter before bed! I think you guys will enjoy how this one start out ;)

Yuzuru grunted with each thrust, panting as he grasped at the pillows. “Javi, Javi, Javi,” he moaned, his breath forced out of him every time Javier’s hips slapped against his ass. “Good, so good,” he panted. Javier was fucking him hard and slow and he loved it. He tried to move but his bound wrists made it impossible. Javier was the one who suggested it, and Yuzuru was happy to try. He had tied his hands together over his head and tied them to the bed, and he couldn’t move more than to grab at the sheets while Javier fucked him from behind. He had offered to let him tie his legs down, too, but Javier wanted to be able to move him. 

“Your ass is so tight,” Javier groaned, drawing back to slap at his left ass cheek. “How is it possible you feel so goddamn good?”

“Javi,” he moaned, whimpering against the sheets. “I need to- I can’t- please,” he whimpered.

Javier seemed to understand, and he gently pulled at Yuzuru’s shoulders. Yuzuru let him roll him onto his back, careful not to twist his arms where they were bound, and he slid back into him. “I’ve got you,” he said, taking Yuzuru’s cock in his hand, stroking him in time with his thrusts. Yuzuru whined and gasped, arching his back. “You’re so. This is so hot. I could fuck you all night long.”

“I would let you,” Yuzuru groaned, wishing he could touch himself or Javi or just anybody. It was the most delicious torture to be kept from touching. Javier was only touching him with the hand on his cock and the motion by which he filled him up. “Javi, please, make me- make me-“ He whined as Javier’s thrusts hit him just right inside. “Javi!”

Javier leaned over, grunting as he fucked him harder and faster, and it only took seconds for Yuzuru to come, whining high and desperate as he shuddered. Javier let out a hoarse groan and filled him up, making Yuzuru whine at the deliciously disgusting feeling of being full of cum. “God, Yuzuru.” Javier panted, looking down at him. “Oh, man.” He chuckled. “Wow.”

Yuzuru nodded, panting. He grimaced when Javier pulled out of him. “Untie?” he asked, raising his hands, and Javier untied his hands immediately.

“You okay?” he asked, gently rubbing Yuzuru’s wrists and hands. He pulled his arms down slowly and Yuzuru winced some at his shoulders hurting a little. “Yuzu?”

“I am fine,” he said, smiling tiredly. He wrapped his arms around Javier’s neck, tugging him down to kiss him. Javier moaned, lowering himself to lay between Yuzuru’s legs, bracing his upper body on his elbows beside Yuzuru’s ribs, sliding his hands under his shoulder blades. “So kinky,” Yuzuru murmured against his lips and Javier laughed. 

“You’re making me learn new things about myself,” he said, barely brushing their lips together in a tease that made Yuzuru shiver. “I’ve never come in someone and I’ve never tied someone’s hands to the bed.”

“I never do this either,” he said, sliding his fingers into Javier’s curls. “Your hair is more soft than Jason’s,” he commented absently.

Javier groaned. “I really thought this morning you and Jason had pulled a walk of shame. I was very confused, since you let me fuck you without a condom and told me you knew there was no way you could be unhealthy.”

Yuzuru laughed, wrapping his legs around Javier playfully. “I do not think about what we say sound that way.” He plucked at a curl. “I tell the truth, we sleepover and talk about boys and drink wine and do dance party.”

“Boys, huh?” Javier asked, kissing Yuzuru’s jaw. “I heard that about Jason’s boyfriend. Anybody I know?”

Yuzuru smirked. “Oh yeah. You do. I just cannot tell.” He tilted his head back, letting Javier kiss his throat in soft, soothing, gentle kisses. “You would laugh so hard you die,” he said, giggling some when Javier’s kisses became ticklish.

“So mean to me, why can’t you tell me?” Javier asked, tickling his ribs. 

“Javi, no!” Yuzuru squealed, kicking at his leg. “Stoooop!”

They play-wrestled for a bit before they shifted around, Yuzuru curled into Javier’s side, enjoying some warm cuddles. “You really can’t tell me?” Javier asked.

Yuzuru shook his head. “It is secret. I cannot tell friends secret.” He hummed. “He know my secret, I know his secret.”

After a moment of quietness Javier chuckled. “I can’t imagine you drunk. You never drink.”

“Jason is convincing,” he joked. “Wine is not for me I do not think, but we have fun time. We talk about what skaters we think are hot. We watch video of ourself fall on the ice, and that is funny,” he said more energetically. “I have funny falls. I guess I never notice how much.” He hummed. “He talk about how hard long-distance dating is but how it is best relationship he ever do.” He smiled. “He is so cute with his face full of love. I never notice, but now that I think about past, I see it. It very secret but they talk every day and have so much love.”

Javier hummed, rubbing his side absently. “Have you ever been in love?”

Yuzuru’s chest clenched and he closed his eyes. “One man. For long time.”

Javier didn’t speak for a moment and he hoped it was him dropping the subject, but instead, he picked it up again. “Did you ever sleep with him?”

Yuzuru chuckled tiredly. “Yeah. I know better, because I should not give myself hope. I love him so much I cannot deny myself, though.” He closed his eyes when he felt tears filling them. “Every time he kiss me, it hurt because I know he do not love me. I want it so bad but it is not mean to be. He never see me how I see him. Sex is easy. Love hurts. It is not like I use sex to not feel hurt, that is so much drama. I like sex, so I do sex. But sex with love it not meant for me.”

Javier made a soft sound. “Yuzu? Are you crying?” He shifted and Yuzuru rubbed his face against Javier’s chest and Javier just groaned. “Oh, Baby, I’m so sorry.” He kissed Yuzuru’s forehead. He tipped his chin up and kissed his lips, which only made it hurt more. “He’s stupid. Whoever the guy is who didn’t love you back, that guy is an asshole.” Yuzuru laughed wetly at the absurdity of it all. “You’re probably my best friend, you know? Whoever gets to keep you will be the luckiest man out there. Some guy someday will share his life with you, the funniest, sweetest, best person I’ve ever known. And whoever didn’t love you will regret his stupidity forever.”

“He’s not stupid,” Yuzuru defended softly. He looked into Javier’s warm, gentle eyes. “It is not his fault that he do not love me how I love him. Nobody can control love. It just happen. Not everybody get lucky like Jason.”

Javier sighed heavily. “No. No they don’t. I’ve loved people I can’t be with. I’ve been with people I didn’t love. I’ve thought I had something real and she just comes home one day and says ‘see ya’ and leaves,” he said bitterly and Yuzuru rubbed his chest soothingly. “Look at us? We just had mind-blowing sex and now we’re being depressed about rejection.”

Yuzuru laughed softly. “Maybe in the morning I blow something else,” he said, kissing Javier’s jaw. “Get it? Blow something else?” he asked, giggling.

Javier snorted and kissed Yuzuru, tugging him down under the covers. He put his arms around Yuzuru, hugging him close. “You’re so silly,” he said, hugging him close. He looked at Yuzuru from across the pillow and raised a hand to touch his face. “If only everybody was as beautiful as they are funny.”

“You are,” Yuzuru whispered, and Javier winked. 

“Thank you.” He kissed Yuzuru quickly. “I’m going to miss you when I leave.”

Yuzuru closed his eyes and snuggled into Javier’s big, strong arms, nodding. “Me, too.”

~

Javier left on a Tuesday not long before Yuzuru was set to go back to Japan himself, and Jason held him close while he cried his eyes out sitting on Jason’s couch. “Why did I do something so stupid?” he sobbed, face tucked into Jason’s chest. “I never should have slept with him. I miss him so much now, even more than before.”

“I can imagine,” Jason soothed, rocking him gently. “I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

“Why do I love someone who doesn’t love me back?” Yuzuru cried. It had been a long time coming. He had been bottling up his feelings for Javi for so long. He bottled up missing Javi after he left Toronto. He bottled up how much it hurt to love someone who didn’t love him back for so, so long. Hooking up with the love of his life had been a terrible idea. He knew what it felt like to fall asleep in Javier’s arms now and he would likely never feel it again. 

Jason rubbed his shoulders comfortingly. “I wish I knew the answers. But before Shoma, I never had a single successful relationship. Every guy I liked just wanted to fuck a naïve, overly-trusting figure skater. So many guys stomped all over my heart. At least be grateful Javier didn’t know what he was doing, because so many guys do it on purpose. My first love when I was a teenager, he was running a long-con because some guys dared him to be the one to fuck the ‘figure skater fairy boy’. He was so sweet to me for three months and took me on romantic dates and made me trust him, I even introduced him to my mom and dad, and then after prom, I had sex with him, and Monday morning he had told all his friends and they teased me during gym class and he joined in.”

Yuzuru sat up, looking at Jason with tears in his eyes. “Oh no, that’s so horrible.” 

Jason shrugged. “Men are garbage sometimes. I’m not saying you can’t be hurt, you deserve to feel everything you feel and not be ashamed of that. But Javier isn’t evil like that asshole. Javier just is stupid. It’s better you love someone stupid than love someone who only wants to hurt you.”

Yuzuru nodded. “I guess so.” He sniffled. “I’m glad I have you,” he said softly. “Javi was probably my only friend. Having you here is a lifesaver.” He wiped at his face. “I need someone to talk to.”

“Everybody does,” Jason said, hugging him again. “Want to invite Evgenia over and get wine drunk in the middle of the week?” he offered. “She’s nineteen now, she can buy alcohol, and we can trash talk men who pissed us off before?”

Yuzuru sniffled and laughed. “Okay. Sure. You’re the one we can blame when Brian is mad at us at training tomorrow.”

~

“I can’t believe you never tell me you meet up to talk about boys before,” Evgenia complained as she put makeup on Jason’s face. “Boys suck. And they’re ugly sometimes.”

Yuzuru giggled drunkenly. “I have definitely sleep with ugly boy before,” he said, and Evgenia stuck her tongue out, making a face. 

“Ew, why?”

“Ugly boy sometime still have big dick,” Yuzuru said and she giggled, blushing. 

“Ew!”

Jason winked at Yuzuru. “Evgenia doesn’t really know about that stuff.”

Yuzuru smirked. “Oh ho. You do not have sex before?” he asked, and she nodded, hand over her mouth. “It okay. Nobody should rush it. Pick on your own time.”

“I like them, I just want to focus on training,” she said, turning up her own anime themed cup of wine. “But I dated boys before, and they were all stupid. Stupid boys who do stupid things. One of them, he jumped off a building into snow!”

“Oh my God!” Jason gasped. “Why?!”

“To show me he is tough,” she said, making a face. “Last boy, he does not even know I had competition and he get mad at me because I miss a date he does not even tell me about!”

“I’m so glad my boyfriend is lazy,” Jason said bluntly, then slapped a hand over his mouth. But it was too late, Evgenia gasped.

“You have a boyfriend?!” she demanded, and then looked at Yuzuru, who wasn’t reacting. “Oh my God, you have a boyfriend and I do not know?!” She smacked him in the arm. “You are mean, bad friend!” She growled playfully. “You tell Yuzuru and not me!”

“We got drunk and had a dance battle and made him judge over Skype,” he admitted. “We split a bit bottle of wine and things got out of hand.”

Evgenia rolled her eyes. “In Russia, we do drinking vodka at like thirteen years old.” She drained the rest of her wine. “I feel nothing yet.”

Yuzuru groaned. “I do not drink ever. I feel like cork floating.” 

“I almost feel like how my boyfriend’s voice makes me feel,” Jason said warmly. 

Yuzuru cackled. “It is almost lunch time there. You can call him,” he goaded, and Jason covered his face.

“He was mad enough I told you!” he argued.

“Yeah, but don’t you miss him?” Yuzuru teased and Jason blushed.

Evgenia clapped. “Call him, call him, call him!”

Jason groaned but got out his laptop. “He’s going to be super angry,” he warned them, but called him all the same. 

Yuzuru smiled when the call was picked up by Shoma, who beamed as he opened the video chat. “Hey, Jason,” he said warmly, only to gasp when he saw two eager faces beside Jason. “JASON!” he whined. 

Evgenia gasped. “OH MY GOD YOU ARE DATING SHOMA?!”

“Jason!” Shoma complained. “Why are you doing this?!”

Jason raised his glass with a poodle on it. “Wine and peer pressure,” he defended. “Anyways, I miss you,” he cooed. “You’re my favorite person and I miss your voice. Tell me you love me.”

Shoma blushed. “No, people are around!”

“They can’t understand!” Jason argued, and Shoma gaped.

“Yuzuru is Japanese!”

“I only speak English always,” Yuzuru said, pretending to be confused.

“Me, too,” Evgenia said, then snorted and lay across Jason’s lap, giggling. Clearly, she lied about feeling nothing. “I don’t know what he is saying even,” she added. “I only know tiny Japanese,” she said in Japanese. 

“Like Shoma!” Yuzuru blurted out, then doubles over laughing.

“Wow, did you call to let your friends be mean to me?” Shoma asked in a flat tone.

“Noooo, stop being mean to my man!” Jason whined, smacking Yuzuru on the ass.

“Oh, even better, call me so you can let me watch you touch other men on the ass.”

“Oh please, it’s Yuzuru, he’s slept in my bed before, it’s not even like that.”

“Really not winning the argument here, Jason,” Shoma warned. 

Yuzuru giggled at how grumpy Shoma looked. “I don’t fuck boys I train with, Jason is safe.”

Jason rolled his eyes at him. “I have dated you longer than anybody ever before and I love you more than anything, you have nothing to fear from Yuzu or any other man here in Canada.” He perked up and clapped. “Also! I was going to tell you when you called me in the morning, but I got the tickets! I’m officially coming to visit you for Christmas in two weeks! My family is super excited to meet your family,” he gushed and Yuzuru cooed.

“Awwww, your whole family is going to visit him? That’s so cute!”

Jason shrugged “Our anniversary was last week, after two years I think it’s time my parents meet his parents.”

Yuzuru looked at the screen and Shoma was bright red. “Oh my God, that’s right, I never did tease you about successfully hiding a relationship from everybody for so long.”

“I hate you,” Shoma said bluntly.

“But not me, right?” Jason asked, pouting dramatically. 

“I hate you the most,” he said, and Yuzuru cackled and translated the exchange for Evgenia, who giggled as well. Shoma groaned. “Okay I have to go, sorry.”

Jason sighed. “I know. I’ll talk to you tomorrow morning?” he asked hopefully.

Shoma grinned. “Tonight for me, but yeah.” He made a face. “I’m gonna pretend they aren’t there for a second,” he said, then smiled a gentle little smile. “I love you, sweet dreams.”

“AWWWW!” Yuzuru and Evgenia both bounced up and down beside Jason, shaking him back and forth. “IT’S SO CUTE!”

“I KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!” 

“I DIDN’T KNOW SHOMA COULD BE SWEET IN HIS WHOLE LIFE!”

Shoma groaned. “I hate you all,” he said, then hung up the video chat on his end. 

Jason just sighed and blushed, rolling his eyes at how dramatic his friends were being. “You guuuyyysssss.”

Yuzuru shook his head. “No, you have a successful, long-term relationship, we get to celebrate!” He grabbed the bottle of wine. “Drink up!” he said, then remembered Evgenia didn’t speak Japanese. “We celebrate his long, happy relationship, have more,” he said, and she took the bottle with a smile.

“Okay, this sounds great! Ahhhh I can’t believe you have hidden this so long!” she cooed, laying her head on Jason’s shoulder. “You are too adorable.”

Jason sighed, smiling sweetly. “I’m not sure how I’ll talk him into it, but one day, I’m gonna marry that man,” he gushed.

“Awwww, you deserve most wine of all us,” Yuzuru said pouring him a more generous glass than he and Evgenia had. “Also, two year ago, Shoma looks like little boy still. You are dirty,” he accused, giggling.

Jason rolled his eyes. “Rich coming from you, Mr. thirty-year-old pairs skater,” he said pointedly.

“In Japan, eighteen still underage,” Yuzuru teased. “You do it with underage boy. Baaaad baaaaad.”

Jason stuck out his tongue. “The legal age of consent is younger, eighteen is an adult in my culture, kiss my butt.”

Evgenia snorted. “I think Shoma will not like that,” she said, and they all burst out laughing. 

~

In the morning, when they all showed up together, looking worse for wear because they stayed up long after the wine was gone just hanging out, until it was nearly two in the morning. Tracy tutted at them as they shuffled past. “I thought with Javi leaving, I would have punctual students again.”

“They made me, it was peer pressure,” Jason defended and Evgenia rolled her eyes.

“You are the one who calls me and says ‘come hang out with Yuzuru at my place’,” she defended.

Yuzuru just gave Traci puppy-eyes. “A boy break my heart, I need friends to help fix.”

Tracy’s eyes softened. “Oh, Honey.” She opened her arms and he slid in for a quick hug. “I didn’t know you had a special friend at all, no wonder you needed friends if you haven’t been able to talk.”

Yuzuru hummed happily, laying his head on her shoulder. “It is not serious, but I spend few weeks dating boy and he leave me, so I am sad. Jason understand men are mean so he help me, and Evgenia come to help make it party time.”

“Well, I can forgive you guys this time,” she allowed, smiling at them. “It’s nice to see you actually hanging out with your friends,” she said to Yuzuru. “All these years you took skating so seriously I worried about your social life. It’s nice to see you taking it easier this year.”

He shrugged. “I do not have more to prove. I want just enjoy skating now. I can do time with friends now.”

Tracy nodded. “Alright, let’s just get to work. You have just a few training days until Nationals.” 

Yuzuru smirked, looking at Jason. “Oh, I know. And somebody else going to Japan, too,” he said and Jason rolled his eyes, blushing. 

“You’re evil.” Jason sighed. “I may as well tell you before one of them slips,” he said to Tracy. “My vacation is to introduce my parents to my boyfriend’s parents. I have a boyfriend.” He shrugged and held his hands up.

Tracy chuckled. “Hey, no problems from me. If you’re at that stage, I’m guessing it’s been a while so it isn’t a detriment to your skating.”

Jason beamed. “I actually skate better when we’re at the same competition usually. Like, a lot of the times I medal, it’s because he’s there cheering for me and I feel supported.”

“You always have my support, Jason,” Evgenia said, and Yuzuru beamed.

“Me, too. So long as you get silver and I get gold if we skating against,” he added, and Tracy swatted at him. 

“Stop being mean,” she chastised. “Alright, boys and girls, time to train! Coffees down, skates on!”

~

 

As soon as he spotted Shoma at Nationals, he pounced. “Soooo,” he drawled and Shoma flushed and turned to run, only to be stopped by Yuzuru’s arm around him. “You keep it a secret you’ve got a boyfriend for two years and still refuse to let me tease you about it?”

“I hate you,” Shoma whined.

“No, you don’t you look up to him.” Yuzuru beamed as he looked and saw Shoma’s brother walking along behind them. “Hi, I’m Itsuki, I don’t know if you remember me.”

“Of course I remember you! The big-little Uno!” He spun around to face him. “How does it feel to know your brother is a terrible friend who lies to people who care about him?”

Itsuki shrugged. “Wish I could swap places with them? Since I moved in with him I keep walking in on sappy conversations. I mean, I knew about the American from the start, he’s too much of a wimp to talk about it with anybody else, but ew,” he said, scrunching his nose. “I don’t want to hear sappy talk involving my brother.”

Yuzuru hummed. “We just talked about Shoma’s preferences in sex,” he said, and Shoma gasped, blushing.

“YOU WHAT?!” He opened and closed his mouth a few times. “I’m- he- that-“ He whined. “Great, I have to break up with him when he arrives!” he complained.

Itsuki rolled his eyes. “You won’t do it. You’ll see that big smile when he spots you and become a weak, weak man.”

Yuzuru nodded sagely. “I can’t blame him. If I didn’t think of him as a friend, I would have tried to seduce him.” Shoma glared “What?! I didn’t know you were dating him! He’s hot and pretty at the same time, it’s really hard to achieve.”

Itsuki made a face. “I’m so, so straight it isn’t funny.”

“No, it’s sad. Girls are nice, but they can’t toss you around and pin you down, so what’s the point of dating one?” Yuzuru asked, and Shoma looked horrified and Isuki gaped.

“I’M ONLY SIXTEEN I DON’T WANT TO THINK THOSE THINGS!” he squeaked, then ran away, only to come back and give Shoma his bag before running away again. 

“Ew,” Shoma said bluntly. 

Yuzuru smirked. “What? You don’t let Jason throw you on the bed and have his way with you?” he asked and Shoma cringed.

“No, I let him take me to bed and make out and cuddle until clothes start coming off.”

“Boring,” Yuzuru said, scrunching up his nose. “And you don’t even like the feeling of cum dripping out of you, what a boring sex life.”

Shoma was so red he was almost purple. “How do you- Did he-“ He opened and closed his mouth a few times. “Why would he give details like that?!”

“To be fair, I didn’t know it was you at the time. He just said ‘my boyfriend’,” he informed him. “I only learned it was you when we were comparing who’s hotter and I said you or Keiji and he said ‘the one I’m in love with’ and confessed it wasn’t Keiji he was talking about.”

Shoma groaned, dropping his head back to stare at the ceiling. “Yep, that’s why I’ll forgive him. I know it already. I’m a weak pushover and he’s so sweet I can’t stay mad. It’s those stupid eyes. Nobody should have eyes that big. Stupid, stupid, sincere, beautiful eyes like a deer. I would be so much more of a man without them.”

Yuzuru thought of Javis’ big, beautiful eyes like a deer and clapped him on the shoulder. “I know your pain,” he said solemnly. “Also, Jason’s abs probably just help the situation.”

“Oh you have no idea,” Shoma grumbled, pulling out his phone. “I’m really not kissing him for a whole day though. Seriously. A whole day. That’s his punishment. NO kisses.”

Yuzuru scoffed. “Just demand he fucks the anger out of you. Trust me, way more enjoyable for you. If you’re really mad, make him eat you out-“

“Oh my God, shut up!” Shoma whined, shoving Yuzuru off as he stormed away as fast as his little legs could take him in the direction that Itsuki had gone. 

When he turned the corner, however, Yuzuru saw his face bright red and he just cackled at the new level of teasing he had achieved. 

~

Shoma beat him.

Yuzuru stood on the silver medal podium, looking at Shoma with pride and confusion as they put the medal on his neck. How the hell had Shoma beat him at Nationals when Yuzuru had skated pretty well?

“How the hell did you beat me when I didn’t have any falls or missed jumps?” he asked when they were away from the cameras, not upset but loving to tease Shoma.

Shoma just smirked and blushed. “The love of my life is in this stadium watching from the stands, how could I not win?” he asked, and Yuzuru instantly cooed going soft.

“Awwwwww, the love of your life?” he parroted and Shoma instantly went wide eyed and ducked his head. “No! It’s cute! That’s so sweet! Oh my God you two are the cutest couple ever!” he decided. “Don’t worry, he said he’s gonna marry you one day, you’re totally safe, it won’t scare him off.”

Shoma’s eyes widened once again. “Married?! I’m only twenty years old!”

Yuzuru grimaced. “Oh. Yeah. Maybe don’t let him know I told you that. Also, please,” he said, rolling his eyes. “You two are definitely going to get married and raise a generation of incredible skating children together, I can be their coach, obviously, and our skating children will rule every competition. Even Brian won’t have the coaching record I will with your skater babies.”

“God, why are you so weird?” Shoma asked, leaving to go find Itsuki and get his stuff so he could leave. 

“Well at least my emotional support animal is a stuffed toy, not a living human teenager!” Yuzuru yelled after him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapter this time, sorry!

Yuzuru was really happy for his friends, but it was hard to stay super positive when the week Jason spent with Shoma, he sent Yuzuru and Evgenia photos of it all. Jason’s sister and parents making peace signs from the futons on the floor of Shoma’s parents living room was adorable. As was the note that they didn’t speak Japanese and Shoma’s mom didn’t speak English and Shoma’s father was working most of the day and Jason and Shoma spent a lot of time going out together or at Shoma’s house. Itsuki spent the night at their parents house so he could translate if they needed anything. That was also why Jason was able to send him photos of a sleeping Shoma lying clearly in the bed beside him. 

Jason was a great friend to give him blackmail photos of his little buddy Shoma. Nothing said ‘you’re a good friend’ like selling out the love of his life to Yuzuru’s teasing nature by giving him a photo of Shoma sprawled on his stomach, visibly shirtless, with his face smushed in the weirdest sleeping position ever. 

However, all of it made him feel sad. He had never been able to be with someone like that. He may never have what Jason had. Jason lived half a world away from his boyfriend, but they made it work. Their time together was precious and rare, but they were happy. Instead, Yuzuru had only ever loved one man in his entire life, and he had never even imagined coming home to him the way Jason clearly wanted with Shoma someday because he knew it was impossible. Javier was never going to love him back. Sleeping with Javier gave him memories to cling to, but they weren’t real. Falling asleep in Javi’s arms wasn’t about love. It was friendship and sex. It hurt more than anything to think about how Jason was happy with the man he loved and Yuzuru never would be. 

Yuzuru needed to get over Javier. He needed to move on. He couldn’t go the rest of his life never falling in love. It was too unthinkable to imagine never, ever being more than a slut who slept around with whoever was willing when he needed that itch scratched. He wasn’t ashamed of his promiscuity, it was something healthy and entirely normal. But he wanted more. Honestly, he wanted more now, but he knew it was unlikely anything would take Javier off his mind this soon after giving in and sleeping with him. Yuzuru’s excuse all along was that he was focusing on skating and just keeping sex casual, which wasn’t untrue, but he knew that largely, the reason he never wanted to commit to anybody was because he loved Javier. He had to get over him so that he could someday find his own Shoma. 

Because it wasn’t Javier. No matter what he wanted, it would never be Javier. 

~

Yuzuru’s plan to stop thinking about Javier lasted all of two days after returning to Canada. He was sitting while putting on his skates next to Jason, who was showing him stuff from his stay in Japan, when the doors opened. He hadn’t looked up at first, because Jason was telling him something. “And he got me a necklace! Look how cute it is,” he said, holding the pendant out in front of him. “It’s the company that sponsors him, so he was able to get one custom made with our initials on the back,” he said, turning it over.

Yuzuru leaned in and cooed. “Awwww, keep that guy, he’s so sweet even if he’s short,” he teased. 

“Hey guys!” 

Jason’s eyes popped up to meet Yuzuru’s with concern and Yuzuru’s face drained of color as he lifted his head and sure enough, behind Jason was Javier, dressed in training clothes. “J-Javi? What you are doing here?” 

Javier raised an eyebrow. “Europeans?” He sat down beside Jason, since that’s where the only bit of free bench was. “It’s my last competition ever, I need to make sure I win it cleanly,” he said, and Yuzuru felt the familiar ache of a reminder that soon, Javier would be mostly gone from his life. 

“O-oh,” he said, then looked at Jason, who looked so sympathetic. “Um, how- how is Javi family? You have fun holidays?” he asked, trying to not let the awkwardness show. 

Javier nodded, smiling. “Yeah, my parents are so glad to have me back, they made me stay in my childhood room the whole week of Christmas and New Year,” he said, rolling his eyes. “How about you two? You guys do anything fun? I know Christmas isn’t the same, but surely you did something.”

Yuzuru shrugged. “I am at home. With my family. It is nice to see Dad and Saya. Although I get silver at Nationals,” he said, scoffing. “Shoma beat me fair finally! I know this day come.”

Javier grinned. “I saw that. I didn’t think it was possible. You didn’t have any real errors at all! He just had one of those magical skates where everything is perfect. It was something to see. He looked so happy and calm, I’m used to Shoma being awkward and kind of nervous.”

Jason snorted, then clapped a hand over his mouth. Yuzuru looked at him curiously and Jason giggled. “Okay, whatever, who cares if Javi is here.” He giggled, looking at Yuzuru. “I told him since I was going to be there for Christmas, even if I’m Jewish, I wanted a gold medal for Christmas,” he said, and Yuzuru burst out laughing. 

“I know he say he win because you are there in stands, but that is hilarious!”

Javier smiled, but was clearly confused. “Jason, you were at Japanese Nationals?” 

“Uh-huh,” Jason said, cheeks coloring but his eyes sparkling with joy. “It’s a secret, which is why nobody knew outside my family until a few months ago, but Shoma and I have been dating for two years. My family went to Nationals and stayed in Japan so our families could get to know each other.”

Javier gaped. “You’re dating _Shoma_?”

Jason nodded, smiling brightly. “Yeah, and it’s going really great. Seeing him beat Yuzuru was probably the best thing ever. Yuzuru’s my friend, duh, but Shoma’s sort of resigned himself to being a permanent silver medalist, so he was so happy, and when he’s happy he’s more beautiful than ever,” he said, clutching his hands to his chest with a proud smile. “We spent a whole week pretty much living together, and my parents and Shoma’s brother all stayed with Shoma’s parents, so it was the longest I’ve got to spend with _just_ Shoma before. Usually we see each other a few days at a time and we’re always busy, but since it was after Nationals, I get to spend all day, every day with him.” He beamed. “I really got lucky when he finally got up the nerve to ask me out after a shared Grand Prix assignment two years ago.”

Javier still seemed confused, but had a polite smile on his face. “Wow, congratulations. Two years, that’s a long time, especially with long-distance.”

“Yeah, I’ve never dated anyone nearly this long before him,” Jason said, then shrugged. “Like I told Yuzuru, I’m pretty sure he’s it for me, so I fully expect to be living in Japan, celebrating our anniversary together in a decade, too.”

Yuzuru cooed and threw his arms around Jason. “You are so happy and I love it. I wish I have this feeling someday. I do not know what boyfriend is like, but you make me want it.”

Jason giggled and leaned his head against Yuzuru’s. “You’ll have it, don’t worry. Somebody someday will be smart enough to see how wonderful of a partner you would be and love you instead of just treat you like a friend with benefits.” Yuzuru pulled back far enough to glare at Jason from two inches away but Jason just winked and, when Yuzuru released him, got to his feet. “Alright, party time, people!” 

Yuzuru laughed awkwardly at the mortified look on Javier’s face, then scrambled to his feet and went off after Jason, cheeks flaming. 

~

Because Yuzuru was an absolute moron, when Javier asked if he wanted to hang out, he agreed. They went shopping and then went back to Javier’s hotel to leave their bags so they could go to dinner.

Yuzuru knew damn well if he went to that hotel room and Javier was interested exactly what would happen.

And it did. 

“Yes, yes, yes,” Yuzuru moaned, back arching as Javier sucked on his throat while he filled him with slow, deep thrusts. “Javi, Javi, oh!” He dug his nails into Javier’s shoulders as he tightened his legs around him. “There, there, yes,” he panted.

“Fuck, you feel so good,” Javier groaned against his neck, lifting himself up to look Yuzuru in the eyes. “So beautiful,” he panted, sliding a hand into Yuzuru’s hair to kiss him sloppily as he fucked him. “I hoped you might want to,” he confessed and Yuzuru groaned, cheeks flushed. 

“There was nobody since you last,” he panted. “I do not have time or- or chance. This so good,” he whined.

“Me neither,” Javier whispered against his skin, biting gently at the hinge of Yuzuru’s jaw. Yuzuru knew that already. He also was pretty sure Javier knew his truth already or else he wouldn’t have risked it without a condom again. Yuzuru felt so dirty in the best way fucking Javier without condoms. Nobody else could ever make him trust them enough to risk it, but Javier was honest and cared about him, and they both had the same medical tests done often as figure skaters, so he knew the routine. 

As a result, when Javier grunted hoarsely and his hips jerked sloppily, Yuzuru could _feel_ it inside of him. He whimpered and shivered. “Jabi, Jabi, oh!”

Javier wasted no time once he was finished pulling out and then shoving three fingers back inside of Yuzuru, taking only a moment to find his prostate. He ducked down and swallowed Yuzuru down, fucking him with his fingers just as he had fucked him before. Yuzuru didn’t last long at all before he came with a high, keening whine. Javier licked his cock clean – which drove Yuzuru crazy – and then crawled up his body. Yuzuru moaned and tugged him into a kiss and Javier groaned as he curled himself around Yuzuru. “God, you’re insane in bed,” Javier told him, voice rough. “I’ve never been so sexually compatible.”

Yuzuru hummed happily. “I think I know what this mean and yes, I agree.” They shifted around and Yuzuru laid his head on Javier’s chest, throwing one leg over Javier’s thigh, only to shiver when he felt Javier’s cum oozing out of him. “I feel kinky,” he confessed, sliding his fingers absently through Javier’s sparse chest hair. “It is coming out of me,” he whispered for effect. 

“God,” Javier blurted out. “That’s… so dirty,” he said, and Yuzuru giggled against his chest. 

“I like it dirty,” he flirted, winking. He kissed Javier quickly. “I want to shower. You join me?” he asked, and Javier nodded. 

“Sure, Yuzu.”

~

Javier would only be there a few more days, so Yuzuru, in spite of his knowledge that it was a terrible idea, spent as much time with him as possible. Jason urged him to tell Javier how he felt, but he just couldn’t. Not even now, as he lay on Javier’s chest, curled into his side with his head tucked under Javier’s chin on their last night together. They had made slow, passionate love in a way that Yuzuru had never experienced before. Javier had looked him in the eyes the whole time they fucked, and Yuzuru had almost cried from how good it felt. It was a truly mind-blowing experience to feel so much during sex, and it only made him sad to remember that this wasn’t real and Javier was just his friend who liked to fuck him. 

Javier held him close, looking down at him with a smile. “I’m going to miss you,” he whispered, and Yuzuru’s heart did a funny twist in his chest. Javier brushed a hand through Yuzuru’s hair. “After Europeans, ice shows are probably the only time I’ll see you. And that’s if we do the same ones.”

Yuzuru turned his face into Javier’s chest. “Do not talk about this now.”

“I’m sorry,” Javier said, kissing his hair. “I just- I will miss you. We’ve had seven years of training together. Maybe sometimes we drew apart but you were always there. Every few months, we’re together. I see you and know you’ll be back soon. But now it won’t be that way.” He heaved a sigh. “I am ready to retire, but I’m not ready to give up the friendships. I’m not ready to miss everybody. I’ll barely ever talk to Brian anymore and he’s been like a father to me. I’ll miss all my skating friends.” He squeezed Yuzuru a little. “I’ll miss you the most.” He brushed his lips against Yuzuru’s temple. “No matter how hard we pushed each other away when things got tense, you always cheered for me. You wanted me to do my best. You only ever wanted to beat me by being better, not by me doing worse.” He chuckled. “You’re so cocky sometimes, but I love it. You are confident but not bitter when you are beaten. I could know that no matter what, Yuzuru was on my side.”

Yuzuru whimpered. “I will miss you, Jabi,” he breathed. “I do not want to think about sad thing right now, though.”

Javier kissed his temple. “But tomorrow I will be going. Shouldn’t we enjoy what time we talk while we can-“

“I want to feel hug while I can,” Yuzuru interrupted. He looked up at him. “Please, tonight has feel good. Do not make me sad.”

“I’m sorry, Yuzu.” He kissed Yuzuru’s cheek affectionately. “I guess I just hate that I won’t be seeing you again-“

“STOP REMINDING ME!” Yuzuru was startled at his own outburst but he couldn’t help it. He shoved off of Javier and got out of bed. He was embarrassed and ashamed as he started grabbing his clothes and tugging them on.

“Yuzuru, what-“

“I sick of this!” Yuzuru cried, tears on his cheeks as he turned around while pulling his shirt on. “I hate that I do this,” he added, whimpering. “I cannot stand that Javi is going away,” he gasped. “I hate that I sleep with you,” he confessed harshly. 

Javier looked very confused. “Yuzu, what-“

“You so stupid!” Yuzuru sobbed, pulling his shoes on one at a time. “I- you are the man I love! I love you my whole adult life,” he all but shouted. “Every day you are all I ever wanted, but you so stupid! I sleep with you because I want know what it like, but I hate knowing what it like! What if it never like it again?” he sobbed, shoulders shaking. “Now I never see you! I am okay with friends, but now I know kissing and sex and I do not even get friends anymore. You go away and- and it over.” He put his hands to his eyes. “Seven year is over.”

He grabbed his shoes, stepping into them hastily. “Yuzuru, wait-“

“No, Javi,” he whispered, pausing at the door for just a moment. “It better we do ‘clean break’. You do not see me tomorrow. I leave now. It better. It hurt less,” he whimpered, then ran out of the room, letting the hotel door swing shut behind him on his way out.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is not the last chapter like I expected, there is one more after this!!!

“What a dick,” Evgenia said bluntly, and Jason didn’t even bother chastising her. He rubbed Yuzuru’s back where he lay between the two of them, crying into a pillow on Jason’s bed.

“I’m so sorry, Yuzuru,” Jason whispered, rubbing long, slow strokes down his back. 

“Yeah, what a dick,” Shoma offered in a tinny voice from Jason’s laptop where it sat on the bedside table beside Jason, overlooking the bed. “Javi-san is dick,” he said, and Jason smiled faintly at his – vulgar – English. When he swapped to Japanese, Evgenia was lost, but Jason could follow. “I never realized you were really in love with Javi-san, I thought you just liked him,” he said. “It’s so mean he would sleep with you when it’s so obviously you like him.”

“He’s a terrible man,” Jason added, still petting his back. “Want me to go all Tonya Harding on him? I’m never gonna get that stupid quad anyways, so if I have to tank my career, I should do it for one of my favorite skaters,” he offered. 

Yuzuru actually picked his head up and laughed. “Tonya Harding was horrible women who want cheat,” he sniffled, and Evgenia draped herself across his shoulders, hugging him around the waist. He turned his head and leaned it against hers. “Thank you all. I am just sad.”

“If Shoma ever hurt me that way, I would break up with him in a heartbeat,” Jason said angrily. He looked at the laptop and swapped to Japanese. “Sorry, Shoma.”

Shoma just rolled his eyes. “If I hurt you like this, I would hate myself,” he said firmly. 

“It isn’t his fault,” Yuzuru whispered. “He didn’t know how I feel.”

“Bullshit,” Jason said bluntly. “If he didn’t know how you felt already, he’s stupid,” he said in English so Evgenia could understand. “I’m sorry to be blunt and personal, but you let him fuck you without a condom! That means you trust him and want him to only be with you. If he’s too stupid to realize that, he’s an idiot!” He cooed at Yuzuru and joined Evgenia in hugging him. “I wish you didn’t feel so sad. I hate it when you’re sad.” He looked at the laptop and switched to Japanese. “Shoma pretends he doesn’t love you, but he totally does. You’re one of his favorite people, right, Baby?” 

Shoma rolled his eyes on the screen. “I’m only admitting this because you’re sad, but yeah. I’ve looked up to you for so long and you’re so nice it’s crazy. You’re definitely one of my favorite people, Yuzuru. I’m so sorry Javi-san is mean to you.”

Yuzuru whimpered. “I just love him,” he whispered. “Why does love hurt so much?” His shoulders shook some. “I just wish I could love someone who would love me back. I don’t want to love someone who only wants to hook up with me.” He groaned. “And the worst part is I only freaked out and confessed and ran away because he was talking about how after he leaves today, we won’t see each other very much at all. Maybe a few times each year during ice shows, if we’re lucky, but maybe not at all after a few years of that. I said I didn’t want to talk about it and he just kept talking and it hurts so bad!” His breath hitched, and he whimpered. “I love someone I wont’t even see anymore. And even without that, he’s been so close to me for so long. He’s been there for me when nobody else was for seven years. I was seventeen when I fell in love with him, and he’s been part of my life for all this time. And now he’s going away and it hurts too bad to even breathe,” he choked out. “He hurt me, but I’m almost more hurt by the fact he’s just- just _gone_. I confessed my feelings and ruined any chance we’ll talk anymore, so he’s really, really gone now.”

“Oh Yuzuru,” Jason sighed. “I’m so, so sorry.”

“Jason being injured and missing so much of the season is why I confessed,” Shoma said from the laptop. “I hated not seeing him. We weren’t as close as you and Javi-san, but we talked and stuff and I hated missing him for almost a whole season. I wanted to keep him in my life, and I thought if I told him how I felt, maybe he would feel the same.” He chuckled. “I’m so lucky he did. I was kind of young for him so I worried he might be weirded out, not charmed, but he liked me back so it was the best thing I ever did.”

“Sho, maybe telling him happy stories about our love isn’t the best right now,” Jason said gently. “Don’t depress him worse.”

“Oh, sorry,” Shoma said, and Yuzuru just sniffled wetly and laughed.

“No, it’s sweet. I am happy you guys found each other.” He turned his head to smile at Evgenia. “Zhenya is happy about that Shoma date Jason too, huh?” he said, and she smiled sweetly.

“It’s so sweet and I am so happy for you both,” she confirmed. 

Yuzuru sniffled and smiled at the laptop camera. “Besides, if Shoma can find love with someone hot like Jason, that gives hope to literally every other person alive.”

Shoma rolled his eyes dramatically. “Why am I friends with you?”

Jason hugged Yuzuru loosely. “The right man is out there,” he murmured softly. “If that dick won’t love you when it’s obvious you’re perfect for him, someone will. You’ll meet the perfect man some day and you’ll never have to feel stupid for loving him because he’ll never be oblivious and hurt you.”

“I know many cute boys,” Evgenia offered. “I will introduce you if you want.”

Yuzuru sighed heavily. “I think that I need not do boy for while.” Jason snorted and Yuzuru kicked him lightly. “Do not laugh at English you dirty!” He sat up, settling onto his knees, shoulders slumped. “I should stay away from men and just let heart heal,” he said, rubbing his chest absently. “I am losing friend and man I love, I should get better before I sleep with man, because if I get feeling for man I meet, it will only make harder the healing.”

Jason nodded. “That’s a good idea,” he said confidently. “Don’t worry about stupid men! Men are trash and hurt your heart.”

“You are one,” Evgenia pointed out and Jason waved a hand.

“Yeah well, not all men are like me. Enough of them are dicks that I feel fine generalizing. Shoma is wonderful, but most every other guy I ever dated was a jerk,” he said bluntly. “Half the reason I fell so hard for him is because he was actually nice and cared about my feelings on things.” He looked at the laptop with a sappy smile. “You’re really handsome and sweet, Sho,” he told him and Shoma smiled a little smugly.

“Thanks, Baby.”

“Awwwwww he call Jason ‘baby’!” Yuzuru told Evgenia, who cooed. 

“And he has a really hot body,” Jason added in English, but apparently Shoma knew enough to turn bright red his eyes widening.

“JASON!” Jason just smiled smugly.

“What?! My boyfriend has a hot body, that’s a serious perk. Your exhibition costume this year that’s see-through does things to me and every other person attracted to men there are,” he pointed out.

Evgenia giggled, blushing. “Shoma’s exhibition costume shows his nipples. It’s so weird,” she said, scrunching up her nose. “I do not know how I feel about this.”

“They’re just nipples,” Yuzuru reasoned and Jason scoffed.

“No, Shoma wears a tee-shirt swimming, his nipples showing is definitely ‘sexy’ for him,” he said and Shoma huffed and Jason swapped languages for him. “Yes, I did say you wear a shirt swimming, deal with it.”

“Maybe I wouldn’t feel the need to wear a shirt swimming if I wasn’t dating the man with the hottest abs in the sport! It makes me feel fat!”

“You are not fat, you’re tiny!”

“Yeah but you have Javi-abs!” he said, then froze and looked guilty. “Sorry, Yuzuru,” he said desperately. “I’m really sorry.”

Yuzuru just ducked his head. “He really does have amazing abs,” he mumbled, and Jason wasted no time jumping him with a hug, squishing him with love.

~

Javier tried to call Yuzuru six times before he left. He even went to Yuzuru’s home but only Yumi was there. He called after he got to Europe too, but unfortunately, he got yet another ‘straight to voicemail’ refusal to answer.

The bomb that Yuzuru had dropped on him was massive, and worst of all, he hadn’t given him a chance to even think, nonetheless react. He had never imagined for a moment that Yuzuru had feelings for him. He had spent so much of these past few years ignoring what he felt that the thought that they felt the same thing for so long was almost impossible to imagine. He had frozen up, unable to respond before Yuzuru fled in tears. 

It was crushing to realize he had hurt Yuzuru. It was worse to realize he wouldn’t get to apologize to him. 

The last thing he expected, however, was to get to Europeans, spot his favorite little friend, and get a cold shoulder when he waved to her. Evgenia ignoring him worried him was confusing. He really didn’t understand why she would turn around and walk away when he waved. 

Because of that, the next time he spotted her in the hotel, he snuck up and looped an arm around her shoulders. “Hey, let’s get dinner, okay? Okay!” He ignored her protests, tugging her with him to the hotel restaurant. “Come on, Zhenya,” he said sweetly.

“I don’t want to talk to you,” she complained, pouting like the child she was. 

“Too bad, you’re stuck with me,” he said as he asked the host to seat them. He was glad they were in a booth near the back, away from anybody else. “So, what’s all this about then?” he asked.

She clicked her fingernails on the table, avoiding his gaze. “Loyalty,” she mumbled. 

“Loyalty?” he asked in confusion.

“Yes, loyalty to my teammates,” she said finally. “My friends in Canada, we’re like a family. We’re a team. And we don’t like you anymore so I didn’t want to talk to you.”

Javier raised an eyebrow. “You do realize that until this weekend is over, I’m on that team. I’m part of that family.” She rolled her eyes. “And what does that mean? Why are people mad at me? Brian hasn’t said anything.”

“Well Brian doesn’t know how many nights I’ve spent at Jason’s house comforting a crying Yuzuru,” she said sharply. Javier’s eyes widened but his heart sank. She looked very uncomfortable. “I didn’t want to say anything, I know it’s not all your fault, but we all kind of agreed to just shut you out after what you did to him. He’s our friend and we won’t see you so it’s easier to just side with him and not talk to you since you’re leaving anyways.”

Javier sighed. “Zhenya, you have no clue what the whole story is.”

“I know,” she admitted quietly. “But it’s still hard to want to talk to you when Yuzuru cries like that. It was terrible,” she whispered. “He just laid there crying and nothing would make him stop. We hugged him and we got him Pooh-san, and we even called Shoma on video to try teasing Shoma to make Yuzuru laugh. But he was so hurt. And this is like the third time it’s happened and it’s always been about you. I didn’t even know it until this last time they told me what was going on.” She made a face. “They didn’t want to talk to me about it because they said they get really graphic and I’m too young for all of that. And I’m glad they did. I don’t want to think about guys who are like my big brothers doing _that_ ,” she said, making an amusing ‘ew’ face, tongue sticking out and everything.

Javier smiled sadly. It was true, she was an adult, but she was so sweet and childlike sometimes it was hard to remember she was a woman, not the little girl she seemed like to them. It really showed when she was willing to ignore him, someone he knew she really liked talking to, just so that she could be loyal to her friends. She looked so determined and frustrated at him for making her friend cry even if she didn’t know the whole story and was aware it was just one side of it. She was a strong woman, if a little childish, and he had to smile. “How about this,” he offered after they waited for a moment while the waiter brought them water glasses and took their orders. “You don’t mention we hung out and let’s just talk about something else over dinner?”

She pouted. “But I don’t want to lie.”

“Is it lying if you just don’t mention you saw me?” he urged, wiggling his eyebrows. “Come on, you won’t get to see me very often soon. I’ll be done skating after this weekend, like you said.”

With a sigh, she finally nodded. “Alright,” she agreed. “I’ll miss you, even if I’ve been calling you a bastard behind your back,” she said, and Javier barked out a laugh of surprise.

“Wow, you guys really hate me, huh?”

She shrugged. “Watching Yuzuru cry is hard. Like really hard. He is an ugly crier, but it still breaks your heart,” she said, and Javier knew the feeling, because his heart felt like someone reached into his chest and squeezed it. “I’m sure his mother wants to know why he’s so mopey lately but he can’t tell her he was having casual sex with the male love of his life.” She made a face. “I’m not sure, but it sounded like they were saying he never had sex with anybody he cared about before, which is sad. I feel so sorry for him. He’s so beautiful and so fun, I don’t know how he’s never had a boyfriend who loves him before now.”

Javier hummed. “I don’t want to gossip, but since you already know put it this way: he told me he’s never wanted to date anybody, he’s never wanted a boyfriend or love, so that’s probably why.”

Evgenia nodded. “I guess he didn’t mean to fall in love with you, it just happened.” She smiled sadly. “I just hate it broke his heart. It’s not your fault I guess but it’s so sad.”

Javier snorted. “If he would answer his damn phone then maybe it wouldn’t be so bad,” he said bluntly. “It’s not exactly like he gave me time to talk before he ran out on me and stopped answering calls and avoided me.”

“What do you mean?” she asked, and it was Javier’s turn to roll his eyes.

“It’s not really a secret that I’ve kind of had it bad for him for years,” he said honestly. “I really thought he was the only one too stupid to see it. I thought he didn’t like me so hooking up was my only way to ever be with him. When he freaked out and started yelling about being in love with me, I really wanted to talk about it, but he’s so stubborn.” He shook his head with a heavy sigh. “Yuzuru Hanyu is one of the most frustrating people I’ve ever known and I’m not at all shocked he made up his mind and then cut me off. I can’t get him to speak to me. It’s so annoying to hear him confess that he loves me and then refuse to let me get a word in before he runs out on me.”

Evgenia’s eyes widened. “What?!” She groaned. “Oh my God, boys are so stupid!” She slammed a hand on the table. “Grrr.” She put her hands on either side of her face. “You’re so stupid. Does having a penis make your brains not work?!” She crossed her arms, glaring at him. “He’s in love with you, you love him, why is this even an issue?”

“Because Yuzuru is a drama queen and won’t answer my call?” Javier defended, and she scoffed.

“Then find him and tell him! Be dramatic right back!” She made claws with her fingers. “God, you’re both such dumb boys. I swear. I wish I was a lesbian,” she said bluntly and Javier could only snort out a laugh. 

“Boys are so dumb you wish you were gay?” She nodded with a glare but said nothing. “Okay, maybe we’re not smart,” he agreed. 

She tapped a finger on her temple, looking so done with him. “So if you had a chance to talk to him, you would tell him you feel the same? You would try to get with him?”

Javier smiled sadly. “Maybe. But I live in Spain now. He lives between Japan and Toronto. What would it be like to try dating that way?”

“Shoma and Jason date and Jason lives in Toronto always now and Shoma lives in _Japan_ ,” she stressed. “God, boys are stupid and cowards. Great.”

Javier could only laugh. She was insulting him, but it was so funny how adamant she was that he was the moron here. “Alright,” he allowed. “Maybe I’m a coward and a stupid ‘boy’.” He put his hands together. “You have to understand, though you are an adult, I’m so much older. I know what I want in life. I am ready to retire and settle down and start a family. Yuzuru will skate until he can’t anymore.”

“And you can’t wait?” she asked pointedly. “You’re twenty-eight, are you so desperate to meet a woman and start making babies you can’t listen to your heart? Jason says he plans on marrying Shoma and both of them are planning on Beijing so it will be at least four years before they get married.”

Javier raised an eyebrow. “Jason is planning on Beijing?”

She groaned and rolled her eyes. “That is what you get from that?”

“What?” he asked defensively. “He’s twenty-three. He’ll be my age in Beijing.”

“Not everybody is a pussy,” she defended, and Javier laughed incredulously. “But honestly, if Jason plans on at least four more years of being half the world apart from the love of his life, why are you being so stupid? Do this last competition, win Euros, then go find Yuzuru and tell him you love him!” she pushed. “It’s so stupid that you aren’t going out of your way to prove to him that you really love him and you mean it.” She scoffed. “I was right in my decision to not date yet. Boys are stupid. I swear you just need to not be stupid for one day, fly to Canada or Japan or wherever, walk up to him, tell him you love him, and then be happy with him!”

Javier looked at her fondly. “I know, Zhenya, but it’s not that simple-“

“It really is,” she defended. “You’re just being a stupid boy and a coward. If you love a man, tell him you love him and make both of you happier for it. Don’t be stupid and ruin his life because you are too lazy to make the first move!” She gave him a threatening look. “My friend has been crying his eyes out over you. Don’t you dare let someone I care about keep being so heartbroken just because you’re a lazy jerk.”

Javier sighed. “I don’t know. Maybe-“

“Maybe isn’t good enough,” she said sharply. “Do it.” Their food arrived and she looked at the waiter before looking at Javier. “Cowardice will only hurt you, too. Don’t waste time that could make you happy being scared. You need happiness just as much as he does. I know it.”

Javier thanked the waiter for their food before he left, but as they tucked in, he could only admit that she was right. If he missed out on this chance and wasted his life, he would regret it until the day he died. It wasn’t worth his pride or his fear to keep quiet and let the chance to find love like what he felt for Yuzuru fade away into nothingness.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end! It may be a bit more abrupt than you hoped for, but this was the perfect place to stop~
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed this one <3

The whole time Javier skated, all activity stopped at the Cricket Club and everybody huddled around the TV, watching his skate. Yuzuru fought a wave of angst and hope. He was so hopeful that Javier would win for the last time, cementing his name in history as one of the best European skaters in all of history. On the other hand, he was very painfully aware of the fact that the man skating on camera before him and making poetry with his body was the same one who broke his heart. 

Jason hugged him subtly the whole time they all stood around watching the competition take place. Yuzuru was grateful for the friend he had made in Jason. Honestly, if Jason wasn’t taken he would be the perfect man. Yuzuru ached for the perfect man for him, who currently skated his way to Europeans victory with a free reminiscent of his Olympic Medal skate. 

“Well, he won,” Jason mumbled and Yuzuru nodded, smiling weakly. 

He wasn’t unhappy at all. He just didn’t feel the joy he would if he knew he would celebrate this win and retirement with the man he loved. Instead, he may never see him up close again without other people around. “Yeah,” he whispered. “He won.” He turned and hugged Jason, tucking his face into his neck to hide his eyes from the smiling, beautiful face on the TV while everybody else cheered and, somewhere, someone rang the bell that signaled success at their rink.

~

“You’re doing what?” Javier’s mother asked, looking at him incredulously as he packed up his stuff after staying only a week at the family home. 

“Flying back to Canada,” Javier said simply.

“Why? All your stuff is here. Even your cat is here in your new apartment,” she said, and Javier stood up, looking back at her.

“Oh yeah, can you look after Effie for me?” he asked, then turned back to his bag. “She only eats twice a day. If she tries to whine to get more, she’s lying. She’ll get fat if you feed her again.”

“Javi, why are you doing this?” Enriqueta asked with a sigh. “Javi-“

“I am in love.” He stood up, turning to face her. “Mama, I’m in love,” he said simply. “I met someone, and I love them and I need to tell them how I feel. I was a coward before but I’m so, so ready to throw it all on the line now and admit my love, damn the consequences.”

Enriqueta looked stunned. “When did you meet someone? You were barely there.”

He chuckled as he continued packing his bag. “Seven or eight years ago?” He shook his head, thinking about Yuzuru as a gangly teenager. “Maybe I wasn’t in love yet then, but I fell in love a while back. And for a few months, I had some sort of a relationship. After my ex left me, I fell into a pattern with this person and we never really got a chance to talk about the feelings involved. And when he finally told me how he felt, he ran away before I could react-“

“He?”

Javier stood up straight, stiffening for a moment, before turning to his mother with his jaw set and his shoulders squared. “Yes. He.” He didn’t offer anything more, but she only looked at him for a while before nodding.

“Yuzuru, huh?” she asked, and he chuckled in surprise.

“Is it that obvious?” he asked, and she smiled with a sad look in her eyes.

“No, but now that you speak up, I can see it easily.” She shook her head. “I honestly don’t know how it took you so long to see it. I never imagined it, but the second you said ‘he’ all those ‘warm friend’ interactions looked like romance.” She looked at him searchingly. “How long have you loved him?”

He hesitated. “Honestly? I’m not sure,” he confessed. “I just know that I love him now.” He smiled sadly. “I hurt him, Mama. I need to go tell him I love him. I need to be brave. My career is over, I have nothing else to worry about besides my future. I want him in that future.” She smiled at him and he felt relief. “Yuzuru is the best partner I could hope for in life. If he still loves me even the slightest, I owe it to myself to try. Long distance won’t be easy, sure, but it will be worth it all in the end if he still loves me and is willing to try.”

Enriqueta nodded with a soft smile. “I understand,” she said simply. “You do what you have to, my son. I trust your instincts. I also trust that you really know what you’re up to,” she said. “You are right. Your career is finished. You just need to find someone to share your future with, and if it’s Yuzuru Hanyu, then so be it. I just want you to be happy.”

Javier chuckled. “Well that’s up to him, but I really hope I will be.” 

~

Landing in Canada with no plan and just a backpack was the craziest thing Javier had ever done, but he was sure of himself. This was what he wanted and he wasn’t going to let fear stand in his way. The only thing that would keep him from confessing his love to Yuzuru was Yuzuru himself not wanting him. 

Javier’s first stop was the obvious: Yuzuru’s house. Yumi seemed surprised to see him, but greeted him with a smile all the same. “Yuzuru at friend house,” she said in English just as broken as her son’s. He thanked her and left, thinking that it said a lot about Yuzuru and how far he had come as a person that he had close enough friends that he was at someone’s house. Javier worried for a moment that maybe the Yuzuru he had loved for so long was no longer the person Yuzuru was now, but he had to hope either way. 

Javier didn’t know what friend Yuzuru might have visited, so he decided to check into a hotel while he still had time. He could leave his things and then come back later when Yuzuru might be back home. He wasn’t going to leave Toronto without news one way or another on what Yuzuru felt for him. He hoped that it was what he wanted and that Yuzuru would love him back, but that was no guarantee. He could only book himself into a hotel, shower and change, and then hope that Yuzuru might answer his calls and meet him somewhere they could talk. 

~

The last thing Yuzuru expected his mother to say when he got home from hanging out with Evgenia and Jason was, “Oh, Yuzuru, Javi was here earlier looking for you. He said he’s visiting town for a while and was hoping to see you.”

Yuzuru’s brain short-circuited. Javier had gone. He had left for good. There was no reason for Javier to be back, nonetheless want to talk to Yuzuru. Their parting had been what it was: basically a clean cut. There was no reason for them to talk now. There was nothing left to say. Yuzuru had told Javier how he felt and fled the scene before the insults could come. He couldn’t imagine why Javier would come all the way back just to try and talk to him about something they both knew was in the past. 

“Why?” he asked hesitantly. “I mean, did he mention why he was here? Or why he stopped by?”

“Oh, I suspect because he’s in love with you.” Yuzuru nearly fainted at his mother’s words, but when he looked at her, she had a knowing smirk on her face as she flipped another page in her book. “You’re far from subtle, my dear. You’ve been silly over that man since you were just a boy. And well, back in the fall it was pretty obvious you weren’t _really_ with Jason all those times you didn’t come home. Some of them, probably. But the fact you happened to be gone more frequently when Javier was there when I took you to practice. Well.” She chuckled softly, not taking her eyes from her page. “I’m not stupid.”

Yuzuru opened and closed his mouth a few times. “I- he- that’s not-“ He sat down heavily, staring at her in shock. “But… but Javier doesn’t like me.”

“Oh please.” Yuzuru’s eyes widened when his mother _rolled her eyes_ at him. “Javier Fernandez is a dumb man but not that dumb. No ‘straight’ guy spends that much time and attention on touching another man’s waist and hips like that. It’s like your waist has magnets in it and his hands are metal. I half-worried he was going to break and sweep you into a kiss in public, he’s so obsessed.” She looked confusingly smug until she spoke and cleared it up. “Pretty nice to know I gave birth to someone so beautiful handsome men like Javier Fernandez can’t keep his wits about him around you.”

Yuzuru opened and closed his mouth before speaking again. “But he doesn’t- he didn’t say-“ He shook his head. “If he loved me, he would have said.”

“Did you ever give him a chance to?” Yuzuru looked at his mother in surprise and Yumi just gave him a sympathetic look. “Yuzuru, dear, you are dramatic and always want to have the last word. I can imagine many situations where he tried to tell you and you wouldn’t let him have the time to do so.”

Yuzuru bit his lip. “You don’t care that I’m- that I’m-“ He swallowed fearfully. “You don’t care I’m gay?”

Yumi gave him a look, raising an eyebrow. “Do you think I ever thought you were straight?” she countered with, and he blinked in surprise. “Yuzuru, your sister wanted posters of rock stars and actors. You wanted pictures of rock stars and actors.” He frowned in confusion. She chuckled. “Son, most teenage boys want hot models or actresses on their walls. It would have made more sense if you wanted figure skaters you looked up to on your walls, but you didn’t. You wanted a lot of handsome men and cute boys on your walls.” He blushed, realizing that was true. Maybe he had liked all those guys because they were cute. He just thought he admired their talents. “And the first time I realized you weren’t alone in your hotel room when I came to check on you after a competition-“ Yuzuru paled, eyes going wide in horror. “It wasn’t a female voice I heard, so that pretty much confirmed it.”

“M-mom,” he stuttered, face instantly flushing. “I- that’s- I-“

Yumi just laughed at his floundering. “Oh relax. Yuzuru, I went to university,” she said simply. “You were nineteen or twenty, I know what nineteen or twenty-year-old kids get up to. You think I didn’t have just as much fun with guys when I was that age?”

“Ew, Moooom,” he whined, grimacing at the thought. 

She patted him on the knee. “Dear, you’re clearly no monk, don’t act like you think I was a nun before I met your father.” He cringed at the thought of his mother finding out exactly how non-monk-like he was.

He downright nearly dry-heaved at the thought of his mother having been as non-nun-like as he was. 

“But Javi-“ He sighed. “Javi doesn’t love me. Okay, yes, I spent a few nights in his hotel room when he was here back in the fall, but- but it was just convenient. His girlfriend had just broke up with him and he was lonely and we could trust each other not to start rumors”

“Yuzuru, I’m a mother. I have more instincts than I did as a university student sleeping her way around her floor at the dorm.” Yuzuru gave her a horrified look at that amount of honesty. She didn’t seem to notice or care. “He’s been looking at you the same way since you were about nineteen years old. He’s been giving you that gentle, adoring, teasing smile and touching you and coaxing you into playing around with him even when you were kind of withdrawn because of big competitions.” She gave Yuzuru a sad smile. “And you’ve always looked at him like he was the best part of your day.”

Yuzuru sighed, shoulders sagging. “I know I do. I’ve never loved anybody else. He’s the only man I’ve ever wanted. But he’s always been with girls. It was never an option. The only reason it was an option last year is because a girl broke his heart-“

“And maybe that’s how it started, but that is not what Javi was doing here today,” she interrupted. “He was looking for you and had the expression of a man on a mission. Talk to him,” she urged. “I expect grandchildren someday, you know,” she urged, and Yuzuru panicked slightly. The look on her face said she really did expect him to give her grandchildren, and seemingly, she expected grandchildren that also spoke Spanish. 

“Mom…” 

She chuckled when he trailed off. “Call him. Find out what hotel he’s at. Go see him!” she urged. “Love isn’t forever. If you let him get away again, he may find a way to stop loving you.” She shook him gently. “Don’t waste this chance.” She patted his shoulder. “Also, remember to pick up condoms on the way there, you can never be too prepared-“

“Oh my God, Mom!” he cried, jumping to his feet finally. “Okay, okay, too much honesty. I’m done with this conversation. Please never talk to me about condoms again-“

“Look, just because nobody can get pregnant doesn’t mean they’re not important-“

“MOM NO!” he cried, covering his ears as he rushed to his bedroom to think about this without his _mother_ telling him to buy condoms while he did so. 

~

The very last person Jason ever expected to find at his door when he opened it after somebody interrupted his skype date with Shoma was _Javier Fernandez_. “I did not just hang up early on my boyfriend after a week of not being able to see his face for you,” he said, narrowing his eyes. 

Javier smiled weakly. “Unfortunately, yes. But I guess that tells me what I need to know about whether or not Yuzuru is here?”

Jason sighed, rolling his eyes. “Don’t bother him,” he said more gently. He looked at him with wide eyes. “He’s getting so much better, Javi. Don’t upset him again.”

Javier admired how Jason really cared about Yuzuru, even if he was bad at playing ‘tough’ towards Javier. “I’m not trying to hurt him. I came all the way here to tell him I love him. If he doesn’t want me, I’ll leave and never bother him again.”

“You _what_?” Jason beamed, jumping up and down. “Oh my God! Yes!” He threw his arms around Javier, bouncing them both. “He’s been so depressed, oh my God. We keep telling him men are trash and nobody is worth his tears, but it doesn’t help. We really thought you were a bastard who didn’t want him, I’m so glad you actually return his feelings!”

Javier laughed softly. “Well, not all of us can meet the right guy, say, ‘I like you, let’s date’, and then two years later be having skype dates like it’s not hard to be half a world away,” he said, and Jason smiled sadly.

“Of course it’s hard. But it’s worth it,” he said with a simple shrug. “I would rather be stuck spending months without getting to kiss him and know he’s going to call me and we can talk for hours than being stuck spending the rest of my life not getting to kiss him or talk to him either.” 

Javier raised an eyebrow. “I’m ready to commit to the same thing, but really? That’s how you look at it? I’m already planning on what to do if Yuzuru will have me so that we can be together often enough.”

Jason just smiled and gazed into the distance. “I’m going to retire after Beijing, so it’s only four years until we can get married and spend decades together. I’m thinking big picture. Have been for over a year now. You’re older than we are. I’m sure you’re thinking big picture for Yuzuru.”

“You’re already planned that far ahead?”

Jason nodded with the most simple look ever in his eyes. “Yep. I have goals that I am confident are mine for the taking. You just have to figure out what you want with Yuzuru.”

Javier nodded thoughtfully. “I guess it is that simple,” he realized, thinking it through. 

Javier wanted Yuzuru. All he really cared about right now was being with him in any way he could be. If it had to do long distance like Jason and Shoma, he would do it. If Yuzuru planned like Jason to skate for four more years, then Javier would just have to deal with it. The options were ‘accept whatever it takes to be with him’ or don’t be with Yuzuru, and if Yuzuru wanted him back, he wouldn’t accept the latter option for anything.

~

_Where are you? - Y_

Javier was surprised by the text. He had been looking all over Toronto for Yuzuru, not wanting to call him and have him reject him outright before he got a chance to meet him and speak to him face to face where he could assure Yuzuru of his sincerity. So to have Yuzuru text him was surprising. He must have heard from someone that he was in town. Javier really hoped this meant he was going to be civil and make it easy to talk to him. 

_Heading to my hotel. I was looking for you. – J_

_Give me the hotel name. I will be there. – Y_

Javier felt hope. He wasn’t sure why Yuzuru wanted to see him after the way Javier inadvertently hurt him before, but it was enough to inspire hope in him.

When he got to the hotel, he saw Yuzuru already waiting in the lobby. He was so goddamn beautiful it hurt, Javier decided. As he approached him, Yuzuru looked up from his phone and it hurt in the worst way to see fear in those beautiful brown eyes. Javier knew that he had given Yuzuru no reason to be happy to see him, but fear was the last thing he ever expected to see in Yuzuru’s eyes. “Hi,” Javier said softly.

Yuzuru stood up a little awkwardly, fidgeting with his pants. “H-hi, Javi.” He swallowed visibly. “Can- can we talk?”

“I want nothing more,” Javier said softly. “You want to get dinner? The restaurant here has a nice sounding menu.”

Yuzuru fidgeting some. “I- I do not think I can eat.” 

Javier nodded in understanding. His stomach was in knots, too. “Do you want to talk in my room? I don’t mean anything by it, just that it seems you want to speak in privacy.”

Yuzuru blushed but nodded. “Okay. This is okay.”

Javier gestured for Yuzuru to go first and when he passed in front of Javier, Javier could see his fingers trembling on the way past. 

~

What if he was wrong.

All Yuzuru could think was what if he was wrong. What if Javi wasn’t here for him. What if all of this was entirely unrelated to his feelings for Javi. He was about to face the same pain and ridicule he felt the first time when he confessed his feelings and ran away from Javier. It was so scary. 

The worst part of it was that Javier’s room had nowhere to sit but the bed. It was so awkward, but Yuzuru wanted to talk more than he was embarrassed. Yuzuru sat on the very edge of the bed and Javier sat beside him, leaving a big gap in between them. “Why did you go at my house?” Yuzuru asked carefully, not wanting to delay this any longer. “My mom, she say you ask for me.”

Javier nodded and Yuzuru turned to look at him when he saw the motion out of the corner of his eyes. “I’ve been trying to find you all day actually. I went there, I went to the rink, I even went to Jason’s house since you two spend a lot of time together lately.”

Yuzuru nodded. “He is my friend.” He rubbed at his thighs distractedly. “Why you want talk with me?”

“Because I had a very good conversation with Evgenia at Europeans,” he said, and Yuzuru blinked in surprise. She hadn’t said anything. “She wouldn’t talk to me until I practically dragged her out to dinner and she told me that they were all taking your side after how hurt you were. I knew you were upset, but I thought it would be best to just let you go about your life and not have me complicate things. We’re very different people,” Javier said gently, looking at Yuzuru closely. “Our lives are so different and our goals for the future are, too.”

Yuzuru felt his throat closing up. It was what he feared. He had hoped beyond all hope that his mother was right, but it seemed Javier just wanted closure. “We are always different people,” he said in a watery tone, feeling his heart breaking after all the hope he had let fill it. “I never ask you for anything. I just- I just make bad choice. I have hope, not expecting. You just never see how I feel before.”

“I know,” Javier said solemnly. “But you never saw my feelings either. I thought it was as obvious as the nose on my face. I thought everyone knew how I felt for you.”

Yuzuru sucked in a shaky breath. “Then why you come? Why you are here now? It was being over. It- it happen and then you go and it is over.”

“Do you want it to be?” Javier asked him and Yuzuru snorted wetly, his tears breaking free.

“No, but you just say we have too much different. I love you for my whole adult life, of course I have so much pain my friends pick me. You were best friend I ever have and I love you for so long and now you are gone. You leave and never come back.” He sniffled. “But you are back. Why you can’t just pick one? Go or stay. Stop hurting me more,” he whimpered, wiping at his eyes. 

Javier looked like he had punched him, his face was so stricken. “Oh Yuzu,” he breathed. “ _Cari-_.” Javier reached out to touch him and Yuzuru swatted his hand away, standing up.

“No. Maybe you don’t think it, but it hurts me. Looking at you hurts me,” he said, looking down at Javier in front of him. “Know that you are going again and will not come back hurts me,” he whimpered. “Just when I think maybe the hurt is not as much, now you are here! Why you hurt me again?” he demanded tearfully. “I do not want ‘closure’. I want no more hurting. You should stay gone this time. Let me stop so much hurting.” He put his hands over his face, letting out ragged sobs. “Jabi,” he sobbed desperately, and instantly there were arms around him.

Javier held him close and Yuzuru gave in to the desire to cling to him. If this was the last hug he ever got, he didn’t care how much it would hurt, suddenly, he just wanted to feel it for as long as possible. “I don’t want closure, Yuzuru,” Javier said, his voice sounding pretty strained as well. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for all the pain I have caused. But I came back because Evgenia was right. It really is more simple than I was making it.” Yuzuru whimpered in confusion and Javier kissed his hair. “I came back to tell you I love you so much. I want to be with you however I can. I’m sorry for being so picky before. I thought it wouldn’t work. I thought being with someone halfway around the world was impossible so it was better to not try.”

Yuzuru pulled back, looking up at him doubtfully. “Why you think this? If you love me, why you hurt me so long?” he asked desperately. 

Javier’s big, beautiful eyes were glistening with tears as he looked slightly down into Yuzuru’s eyes. “I thought it would be too hard. Long-distance rarely works out. It just isn’t easy.”

“Of course it not ‘easy’,” Yuzuru choked out, tears streaking his face even more as his poor heart filled with a confusing mix of dread, heartbreak, and hope. “But who care if it ‘easy’? It is love.” He sniffled very unattractively and hated how ugly of a crier he was. “My mom and dad spend half of the year not together. They fight, and they get resent, and they have hard times. But they deal with it because it worth it. Jason already knows he will marry Shoma and they will not be together more than few days here and there for _years_ , but he never think it is better to do what he find ‘easy’.” Yuzuru shook his head. “Easy is what I do all along, have sex with man I do not care about and ignore that I love someone I thought for most time is straight.”

Javier smiled at him slowly. “Not everybody is a fighter like you, Yuzuru.”

“You are,” Yuzuru said simply, and Javier let out a weak laugh. Yuzuru watched a tear escape from behind Javier’s long eyelashes as he did so. He raised his hand and brushed the tear away, his breath hitching as he felt Javier’s warm, stubbled cheek under his hand. He cupped that sharp jaw in his hand, just feeling of his skin gently. 

“I am not that strong, Yuzuru,” Javier said sadly. “You always put me on a pedestal I never belonged on, because I’m not that strong, no matter what you think.”

Yuzuru looked him in the eyes seriously. “Then I can be strong for both of us.”

Javier tightened his hold around Yuzuru’s waist, hands splaying over his back one above the other. Javier held his gaze, never once backing down, even as their bodies pressed firmly together. “I can’t move back to Canada. I want to be in Spain. I missed my home for far too long.”

“I do not ask you to,” Yuzuru replied simply. 

Javier’s gaze didn’t waver. “Sooner than later, I want to get married and have children.”

Yuzuru’s stomach fluttered at the thought of exactly what Javier was implying. “I always have love babies,” he nearly whispered, shy at the thought. 

“I can’t be your personal cheerleader at every event. I have my own stuff to deal with in Spain,” Javier added, and Yuzuru nodded.

“I know. I am proud you try make skating big thing in Spain,” he said fondly. 

Javier finally smiled gently, his eyes crinkling beautifully. “If we’re going to be together, it won’t be easy, we’ll probably fight all the time. But I promise to love you always, to be faithful to you no matter how long we’re apart, and one day, I’ll ask you to marry me and spend the rest of your life with me. I’m done waiting around. I’m nearly thirty. I am ready for the final relationship I ever enter. If you’re not ready for that, then I can’t-“

“Stop talking,” Yuzuru whispered, tears in his eyes from joy this time. “I want all this, too, Javi. I have wait for you for so long. I want only relationship I ever be in now, too.”

Javier beamed. “I’m going to kiss you now,” he said, and Yuzuru laughed wetly, sliding a hand into Javier’s curls.

“Then stop talking,” he said cheekily before leaning in and meeting Javier’s lips half way.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm leaving the comments unlocked. If you post shitty comments like on the last fic, I'm not going to respond. I'll just let it sit there for you to look like an ass to the other readers who see it.


End file.
